Why Shadow Fears Fan Girl Writers
by Lucy Labrador
Summary: This is a parody of the first story I wrote. 'Shadow The Hedgehog: Why Do I Suffer So Much'. That story is so bad it 'aces low' so I decided to parody it. Sorry Shadow.
1. Chapter 1

**Why Shadow Fears Fan Girl Writers**

**This is an idea I got while painfully reading over my first story. Shadow was so OOC in it and the story line was just so silly, the story seemed more like a parody. So I decided to write a parody which will show 'Why Shadow Fears Fan Girl Writers.' I'm one of the Fan girl writers he fears the most because Shadow get's these awful dilemmas to go through in my stories. Like this one…**

This is a story about Shadow the Hedgehog. It takes place after he defeated Black Doom not taking into account anything that happened in the games after it, even though it's being written over half a decade after it. Shadow stood at one of the windows of Space Colony ARK as he does in the beginning of a lot of the author's stories, thinking of how lonely he was but not simply doing chaos control to go down to the planet below and find some friends.

After a long battle and hard life Shadow thought his troubles were over in fact, they had only just began. "No…. just no! You can't do that. I've already had my moment, I've saved the world and gone through my fair share of suffering, it's over now! Its over!" Shadow yelled. There was silence. "Now… if you'll excuse me, I'm going to live my life… and you can't stop me!" Shadow growled and pointed up to where the author was looking down on him and left the room.

To start his 'retirement' from suffering and adventure he decided to take a look around the ARK. It had been a long time since he'd seen the place and knew there were some unseen area he could explore. He came to a dark area, all of the lights had gone out in this place and instead of finding the power switch to turn the lights on Shadow went in with a small lit candle and went far into the dark corridor.

It was then Shadow started to feel abnormally cold yet he decided to go on, getting colder and colder. Then he saw an ominous glow in the distance. Feeling afraid, even though he was the Ultimate Life form who claimed he never felt fear, he walked towards it to discover the source of the light. "Why do I feel so nervous… so afraid… I'm never afraid." Shadow trembled. "When I get my hands on that author for making me act like a pathetic fool…" he grumbled.

He then stopped in his tracks when he saw what was making the light, it was a ghost… the ghost of Maria. A tear fell from Shadow's eyes when she saw her but then he shook it off in anger. "No way! This has been done too many times! Brining Maria back from the dead isn't exactly that original, is it?" Shadow yelled in anger.

"Shadow…" Maria said happily when she saw him.

"Hello Maria…" Shadow sighed and continued with his rant. "Also, to bring her back as a ghost so that I can't give her a wonderful reunion hug is just… cruel." he grumbled.

"Shadow, it's been so long, what have you been doing all of this time?" Maria asked kindly, floating in her misty ghost form.

"Well… as soon as you helped me escape… I was captured by GUN." Shadow said quickly in an irritated voice. Maria gasped, she was going to complain but Shadow cut in. "When I was freed 50 years later, not so long ago I took revenge against the humans. Now I know that was against your wish _but _later realised that and put everything right again. I lost my memory in the process, I just got it back- let's move on!" Shadow rushed and walked back down the corridor, Maria followed him confusedly.

"Shadow… you're not being very nice… what happened to you?" Maria asked, getting tears in her eyes.

"Fanfiction… that's what happened to me." Shadow growled. "I'm sorry Maria… but your return is just… predictable… I think we should just move on from this.. Try again Lucy." Shadow said, looking up again.

Suddenly, Maria was gone and Shadow felt uneasy. "Oh no… what could you possible come up with now?" Shadow said, looking around for his next challenge.

"Hedgehog, it is time for the ultimate revenge!" Shadow heard Black Dooms voice boom and echo. Shadow's tail went between his legs and he tensed up. Black Doom then appeared at the end of the room.

"This… couldn't be worse. I've only just defeated Black Doom. I know villains tend to return… but not this soon… he's not Eggman, who returns every five minutes, give me something new to deal with." Shadow complained. Black Doom held out his hand as though he was trying mind control. "Don't bother with that, that power no longer works on me-" then Shadow choked up and fell to the floor in agony. "But my immune…" he rasped from the floor in pain.

Maria popped her head in from around the corner. "Do you want my help now Shadow?" She asked in an 'I told you so' voice. Shadow let out another hiss of pain and said,

"No!" then cried out in pain again. Black Doom then made a swiping motion with his other hand and sent a swift strike attack. It his Shadow, sending him darting into the window, smashing it into exactly a dozen pieces. Why a dozen? I dunno, it sounds good. Shadow then cried out as he was sucked down to the planet below but he was in space so no one could hear him screaming the words; "You can't do this… it was done in Sonic unleashed, Lucy Labrador you copy cat!"

But the author took no notice… she didn't care it never happened, in fact she had the idea before the game was even released and again, she was not taking any notice of what happened in those games.

A while later on earth, Mobius or wherever it is, in the field where Shadow was once standing by the tree in his game, Shadow was plummeting to the ground yelling "I'm not Sonic, he's the one who falls from the sky a lot, not me!" He then landed in the tree making leaves fall out of it. He then fell to the floor, covered in splinters and leaves. Shadow felt dizzy but once he got all of his senses back he noticed a couple of GUN soldiers running towards him. "Just my luck…" Shadow groaned, struggling to get up and run.

As he was trying to get away he began to think to himself. 'How come I'm alive and conscious… the last time I fell from the ARK it caused my near death and amnesia.. Is makes no sense at all to be perfectly fine.'

Shadow made a dash for freedom, "This is getting out of hand… seriously… why does Lucy Labrador have me one the run from GUN all of the time… _even though_ I was supposed to join them after my game!" Shadow raged to himself while running away from the soldier who were keeping up with him even though he had super speed. "None of this makes sense!" Shadow cried out and zoomed off into the city.

After several hours of chasing which was a waste of time when the solider could have in fact, shot Shadow at first sight of him, Shadow turned around to face them, an exhausted look on his face. The two soldiers stopped with the guns pointed at him. "I'm too tired…" Shadow groaned. "_Even-though-I'm-The-Ultimate-Life Form-screw-you-Lucy-Labrador_." he then coughed out. "I surrender…" he added and fell to his knees with his hands up.

He was then picked up by the soldiers to be taken to GUN HQ. However, Shadow got a different idea. "Sudden burst of energy, I change my mind!" he yelled all of a sudden, broke free and ran down the pavements, bumping into a lamppost and knocking himself unconscious… outside of a Police Station.

When Shadow awoke he realised that he had been taken in by the Police, he was now in a little cell in the Station. "What's up with me today. Seriously." Shadow said to himself, getting up off the bed that he was laying on.

One of the guards came to check on him. "Please let me out… I haven't done anything." Shadow exclaimed, running over to the bars urgently.

"You'll be out… when The Commander of GUN comes to take you to GUN Headquarters." The guard teased.

"Couldn't you have brought me there In the first place… while I was unconscious… there were soldiers after me… they could have taken me there." Shadow said, feeling as though he couldn't take it any more, the logic of the story was completely, well, not even there.

"The Commander will be arriving soon." The guard said and left. Shadow had to wait for The Commander to arrive, whoever that would be. Shadow sat on the bed and waited impatiently for him to arrive. When he did get there, Shadow's eyes widened.

"It's you… you tried to kill me when I had memory loss!" Shadow exclaimed. He then got up and rushed under the bed to hide from him. "Why am I doing this… you know where I am." Shadow said and popped his head out from under the bed nervously. The Commander was let in the cell, he got down and dragged Shadow out by his ankles.

Shadow sat on the floor in a rotten mood. "Shadow, you are guilty of such horrific crimes. Millions of people died during the Black Arms invasion because you decided to help Black Doom." The Commander said to him angrily.

"But you don't take into mind who stopped Black Doom in the end." Shadow grumbled. "But of course you wouldn't… I would never be given a reward… that's nowhere near as interesting as me being chased day and night." Shadow sneered under his breath.

"Look at you… you're pure evil… I can see it in your eyes." The Commander hissed.

"Is it because they're red." Shadow asked, sighing,

"Partly, I guess." There was silence. The Commander looked at Shadow, as though he was expecting him to say something.

"Oh no… I'm not going to say it… no way. I'm out of character enough without having to way that line…" Shadow said, folding his arms. Shadow then felt a zap from above. He cried out in pain and shock.

"_**SAY IT!**_" they heard a feminine voice called. Shadow sighed looking down the floor. He cleared his throat and said;

"Well… it matches my… fur…" Shadow groaned. "Seriously… who says that apart from girls." he said under his breath.

Shadow was then given an extra set of inhibitor rings to put on so that his power would be limited even more and was taken out to a van belonging to GUN that would take him somewhere else. They arrived outside another building. "What is this place?" Shadow asked as he was taken out in hand cuffs that would ensure that he wouldn't run away… somehow…

"This is a science block… we're going to run a few tests…" The Commander teased as him and some soldiers brought Shadow into the building, surrounding him back, front and both sides of him. "You're getting a DNA test…"

Shadow gulped, he didn't want them to take tests on him. "Is this… really necessary?" Shadow asked nervously.

"Yes, we need to find out exactly what you are." The Commander said as they brought Shadow into one of the labs. There were needles on the tables by the microscopes and other machines. Shadow began to feel even tenser, he did not like the look of this and he didn't like needles.

Shadow was made to sit on a stool and one of the scientists in the room took a blood sample from the veins in Shadow's arm. Shadow gave a hiss of pain, they had not been gentle. They when put the blood sample into a machine to be analysed. Shadow waited nervously for the results, he knew what it would be, and they would know that he was related to Black Doom.

All of the matches came up on the computer screen, it said; SONIC! They all went silent until Shadow started screaming. "No, it can't be! This has to be a joke!" Shadow cried out, trying to get up and run out of the room but he was held back.

"We'll have to clean out the machine… we've been taking a few tests on others recently… it must have been corrupted or something… bare with us Shadow." One of the scientists. After the machine was cleaned and sorted out, the real result came up on the screen. BLACK DOOM.

Shadow gulped, he knew he was done for. The Commander now knew he had Black Arms DNA. Shadow decided not to kick up a fuss. "This is a Lucy Labrador story… no matter how hard I try I'm not going to escape… might as well give myself up." Shadow sighed to himself and let the soldiers take him away.

Shadow knew he would be locked up for a long time, or The Commander would at least plan to keep him locked up 'forever'. There was no way out of it… at least he wasn't related to Sonic.

**I know Humour isn't my strong point… going from angst to humour is a big jump! Is it funny or does it just point out the silly little flaws in my first story and make you come to realisation rather than make you laugh? **

**Lucy Labrador**


	2. Chapter 2

**Why Shadow Fears Fan Girl Writers**

**Chapter 2: The Time Jump from Hell**

**Thanks for the reviews, there was more than I expected!**

Shadow was put into a cell which had a concrete floor, three walls and just a set of bars on the fourth wall. At the back of the room there were shackles that went around Shadows wrists and ankles and they were hanging from the wall and took short to walk anywhere or even sit down. The chains were thick and strong otherwise Shadow would have broken out of them already. The Commander had gotten this cell especially made for Shadow, he wasn't planning on letting him out any time soon.

However, Shadow was futilely trying his best to tug on the chains and escape. "It's no use hedgehog, you'll never escape from here." The Commander said, standing outside of the cell, looking at Shadow in triumph.

"Of course not…" Shadow sighed, he just knew he was destined to suffer. "Now I know what's coming next… a huge speech about how you defeated me… or you're going to call me scum for having Black Doom's blood." Shadow said irritably.

"Yes actually-" The Commander began but he was cut off.

"Well save it. I've heard it all before… it's not like Lucy Labrador's not done this already." Shadow snapped.

"You're right… I'll just cut to the end." The Commander said and cleared his throat. "You're Immortal, so you'll survive staying here without food water or rest for a few months!" The Commander said maliciously.

"Oh… what a surprise, this has never been done to me before in any Fanfiction. How original!" Shadow said sarcastically. "Just move on already will you!" he yelled. That's when The Commander walked off out of site.

Shadow didn't like this, the cell was damp, cold and there was a leak in the ceiling in the corner of the room, the water was dripping into a bucket, making little splashes every few seconds. At first it was annoying then the sounds of water made him feel slightly uncomfortable-

"Oh… for chaos sake… not now…" Shadow groaned, holding himself between the legs, he looked over to the bucket. "Perhaps I can reach it and…. go in there." he said while struggling to grab it but the bucket was just out of reach. "Damn it." he whimpered. "I have to pee… is that just too much to ask?" Shadow said looking up feeling as though he could cry.

"_**What's wrong with making you need to go… I'd say it's original… it's never mentioned in the games and hardly anyone puts it in their stories… what do you think?**_" Shadow heard the author's voice, he sighed;

"It's… okay… I suppose." he said unenthusiastically but then felt another twinge in his bladder. "I mean it's brilliant, totally original!" he exclaimed, plunging his hands between his legs. "You've proved your point so can we just move on…" Shadow sobbed.

Suddenly, a heavenly light shone down upon the prison cell door and the bars came to one side. Shadow's face lit up in delight. "_**You're Welcome**_." came the voice. Shadow didn't move, he just gave an annoyed look.

"There's just one problem… I'm still stuck to the wall!" Shadow yelled out angrily. Abruptly, the chains came off the wall and Shadow went flying out of the door because he had been pulling on them at the time. He then made a run for the exit.

Shadow was relieved that he was finally free and _somehow_ his chains were off. "So… what have you got for me now that's so original." Shadow scoffed while walking down the street. "I wonder… more GUN soldiers? An Eggman robot? Road toll!" he jeered. He stopped on the spot and looked down onto the floor. "Chaos emerald…" he sighed and picked it up. "I guess I have to find all of these now." he said and put his emerald away.

"You won't have to… I have them." he heard a voice boom. Shadow looked up to see Black Doom floating and coming down closer to the ground. Shadow's eyes narrowed.

"I should have known you'd return…" Shadow hissed.

"Yes, you didn't even defeat me the last time you saw me." Black Doom said triumphantly.

"No… because this is Lucy's story… and she likes to repeat herself." Shadow complained. "One torture session with Black Doom just wasn't enough for her." he said to himself. "So, let me guess… you're going to punish me for betraying you." Shadow said, looking up to Black Doom in lack of amusement.

"Yes." Black Doom said putting his hand out making Shadow fall to the floor in agony again. Shadow cried out with pain, the horrible pain!

"Please… just make it stop! It's too much!" Shadow cried out on his hands and knees, tears falling from his eyes. "I'll do anything!"

"Anything?" Black Doom said mischievously, Shadow nodded desperately. "Say you love me Shadow." Black Doom requested.

"What?"

"And call me daddy… go on… _do It_." he hissed. Shadow gulped and took a deep breath.

"I- I love you daddy." Shadow sobbed in pain and because of the humiliation.

"Now admit that you're not the ultimate life form… I am." Black Doom said.

"I'm not The Ultimate Life form… because you are." Shadow sobbed even more.

"I think that's enough… for now." Black Doom said, he put his hand back down to his sides and the pain stopped. Shadow got up shakily, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I hope no-one ever knows about this." Shadow trembled, trying to get himself together again.

"_**Shadow, it's on , of course people will know about It.**_" came the author's voice. Shadow cried out in anguish;

"My reputation!" he screamed out for his loss.

"_**You know what would gain you back your reputation? If you fought Black doom right now… in your super form, that would be cool!**_"

Shadow thought about it then looked at Black Doom with pleading eyes this made Black Doom sigh. "If you wish, hedgehog." he said, and gave Shadow the power of the emeralds so that he could transform into his super form.

"Let's go." Shadow said, and they both teleported to space which was above the planet and near Space Colony ARK. "I have you now Black Doom-" Shadow said but choked up. "What's going on, why can't I breathe? I can breathe in space in the games!" Shadow exclaimed, grabbing his own throat. He then narrowed his eyes as he realised. "Lucy you…" he couldn't think of what to say, so he growled out in frustration. "I'd better get this over with other wise I'm done for." Shadow said to himself.

Shadow created a chaos spear with his hand and swung it at Black Doom. Black Doom cried out in pain as it hit him in the face. "Curse you hedgehog, you defeated me!" his enemy exclaimed.

"… What?" Shadow said, his mind going blank. "That was too easy… this is madness!"

"This is a Lucy Labrador story!" Black Doom said and sighed himself. "I can't believe I was made to contribute to a meme… I feel your pain Shadow, I really do. Good luck with that author Shadow…" Black Doom said and disappeared.

Shadow then made a dash for the space colony Ark, which's window had been fixed as there was no mention of it still being broken. But it was too late, as Shadow got inside his body couldn't take it any more, the lack of oxygen made him weak so he fell unconscious, as he did Shadow mumbled to himself. "Just how many times… have I ever passed out in a Lucy Labrador story?" then he hit the floor.

_**EPIC TIME JUMP TIME!**_

51 Million years later Shadow awoke. A lot had changed since the 21st century when GUN found Shadow's so called _dead _body on the ARK and put it on Prison Island in a cold storage chamber to be kept forever. Prison Island had been abandoned and rotted away, the land was eroded by the millions of years of harassment from the sea and the area was polluted, the thick dirty air making the area dark.

There had been tales that not so long after Shadow died, a horrible creature came and destroyed so much things on the planet, killing half of the population in the process.

Shadow had not awoken on his own, his body had been summoned from the grave or… cold storage chamber by a human by the name of Kane Robotnik who was in search of the worlds Ultimate Life Form. He took the unconscious Shadow back to his ship which he used to travel and live, which brings us back to now.

When the scientist had nearly lost all hope, Shadow awoke from his 'dead' state. He was laid down on an experimental table, but Kane didn't plan to experiment on him. Shadow sat up and looked around in confusion, having no idea where he was. For the next moment he didn't care, he felt awful. "Water… I need water…" Shadow rasped urgently. Kane ran to get him a drink, he gave Shadow the glass and he gulped it down in a few seconds. "More!" Shadow cried out. So Kane got him another and another until Shadow was feeling hydrated. He had one last glass feeling a lot better and he said, "So… what year is it?" he asked and took a gulp of his water.

"The year 51 Million." Kane said, Shadow spat out his mouthful.

"What!" Shadow exclaimed. "This is… impossible… what the hell is Lucy thinking?" Shadow groaned. "This is the most random and stupid time jump I have ever-" Shadow stopped and tensed up and crossed his legs. "Where's the bathroom." Shadow asked shakily.

"Umm… I'll show you to it." Kane said, helping Shadow off the table and leading him out of the room and down the corridor. "There you go." he said, opening one of the doors in the corridor to a room that had a toilet in. Shadow ran inside and slammed the door behind him.

While he was relieving himself Shadow thought '_If it's millions of years in the future right now… why are the toilet's exactly the same?_'

He came back out of the bathroom and he was led back to the room that he started in so that they would carry on their conversation. "So Shadow, I'm a fellow Robotnik, an ancestor of your creator and I also helped you wake up. Do you mind helping me?" Kane asked.

"I guess so. I've nothing better to do." Shadow said, not sounding bothered. "But what am I helping you with?" he asked.

"I plan to-"

"Wait…. I know this. You plan to take over the world. No, I'm not helping you do that. I should have known, you're a Robotnik which means you're probably an evil scientist who plans to take over the world." Shadow said feeling aggravated.

"But you said you'd help me." Kane complained. "You have to work for me!" he demanded.

"I didn't say I would work for you, I said I guess I could but I wanted to find out what you were planning to do first. Are you as stupid as the writer of this story?" Shadow insulted him, Shadow then realise that he had insulted the author too so braced himself for his punishment.

"You will work for me! I'll make you!" Kane exclaimed, he then got out a control panel and pressed one of the buttons on it. Not long after, a furry horrible monster came running into the room. It was three times as big as Shadow, it stood on two legs and had teeth and claws.

"Oh no… the most pathetically made up creature ever… this really is a bad punishment." Shadow said sarcastically and sighed, getting ready to fight it. The creature grabbed Shadow with it's big clawed hands, Shadow didn't see this coming so was caught easily. "No way! I should have been able to dodge that, Lucy you biased bitch! This isn't a fair fight!" Shadow yelled in anger and frustration. Shadow then felt the consequences, the monster squeezed Shadow with all of it's might.

The poor hedgehog screamed out in pain, begging for mercy. "Make it stop… I'll do anything!" Shadow said, feeling a slight sense of déjà vu.

"Say you love me." Kane smiled evilly. Shadow just stared at him with wide eyes.

"Okay… Black Doom, I can understand saying that but… you!" Shadow exclaimed.

"I don't know what came over me." Kane said, looking confused.

"Fanfiction… that's what came over you… now…. Please." Shadow choked, he could no longer breathe because he was being squished.

"Work for me and perhaps I'll order it to stop crushing you." Kane said.

"No way…" Shadow said, tears started falling from his eyes from the agony. Kane felt bad, seeing Shadow cry so he ordered the monster to stop torturing him, the hedgehog was dropped on the floor where he collapsed in agony. "I… hate you…" Shadow groaned.

"Everyone seems to hate me." Kane sighed.

"I can see why." Shadow scoffed, recovering himself from the pain.

"You what!" Kane yelled threateningly. Shadow kept quiet, Kane waited for an answer.

"I'm not saying it… Lucy… this is just the most pathetic attempt to redeem myself, it's not going to work just-" **ZAP! **"Ahh! Okay… I can see… pie." Shadow said.

"That may rhyme with 'I can see why' but I know that's not what you said." Kane said.

"I know." Shadow said, looking up in anger. Kane ordered the monster to grab Shadow again but the panicked hedgehog was able to doge and run for his freedom out of the room and down the hall. Kane came running after him but it was no use, Shadow was much faster.

Shadow found the exit, ran out of the large ship which was luckily on the ground, otherwise he would have been stuck, or would have had to jump. He shot off into the distance, not looking back, a part from once, he wondered what the ship looked like on the outside.

Now exhausted, Shadow sat down somewhere quiet panting. "I'm so glad that's over… this was certainly one crazy Fanfiction, Lucy… I'm glad it's over." he sighed.

"_**Over? It's only just beginning!**_" Shadow heard her say.

**Lucy Labrador**


	3. Chapter 3

**Why Shadow Fears Fan Girl Writers**

**Chapter 3: Forever a Prisoner**

Shadow was no walking through a city that was near to where he had run away from. The area was run down and not very high tech like Shadow thought it would be, in fact it almost looked 21st century. "Good job at setting a realistic scene Lucy… yeah… it's the year 51 million yet it still looks like modern day around here." Shadow scoffed. "Better luck next time!"

Shadow continued to walk through the city when he came across the first person he had seen in this abandoned city. It was a teenage boy with dark skin, short hair, wearing simple baggy clothes. "Hey, aint you that Shadow guy?" he said in a south east England accent.

"Oh, look at that. It's a ridiculous stereo type of a _21__st__ century_ London Gangster." Shadow said, "Could this get any more random?"

"I know about you. You were on the run or somfing." he said.

"Yeah, I was." Shadow said wondering why this random person was talking to him.

"Nice you meet ya, I'm Dave." he said to Shadow. Shadow sighed, looking down, he couldn't take this any more, but apparently, this was only the beginning.

Skipping the unnecessary talk about how Shadow was different because he was from another time, even though the place still looked 21st century, Dave was now taking Shadow back to the place where all of his friends were.

When they went inside the door to the place at the back of the building, it was dimly lit inside and there were many of his friends, most of them were quiet but some of them were laughing. Some were drinking, some were joking around. "What is she up to now?" Shadow said to himself, looking up. All of the people inside were male… and of different races… if they were all the same race as Dave… that would be racist and teenagers like Dave.

"What's up Shadow? You look confused…" Dave asked.

"This just isn't right… back in the 21st century, it was illegal for people under the age of 18 or 21 depending on the country, to drink alcohol." Shadow said. "Oh wait, update from Lucy… she was wrong, it was only illegal to purchase it if you're underage, carry on."

"So, we haven't broken any law, since we stole it!" one of the drunk ones said. Shadow rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"There're no laws like that these days!" Dave said. "Even if there was, it wouldn't stop us!"

"What is this anyway… some kind of gang?" Shadow asked.

"Yep, and I'm the leader! Mark here will be the leader when I go missing!" Dave said, pointing to Mark, who had light skin, dark hair and wore similar clothes, because of course, in modern day, a mix of ethnicities are needed in media otherwise criticisms about racism will be made.

"Lucy, shut up… we get it!" Shadow yelled upwards.

"Hey, you there… wanna try some of this?" said one of the boys who was drinking, giving Shadow a glass. Shadow gave it a sniff then put it down.

"No… I'm not a fan of alcohol." Shadow said, not accepting it.

"Please… just one sip…" he enticed. So Shadow gave in. It started with one sip, the rest of the night was a blur.

When Shadow woke up that morning his vision was blurry for a first minute and his head hurt. He didn't know where he was, the room he was in was empty and he saw metal bars at the end of the room. His eyes widened when his sight returned fully. Then Kane came walking into view, he walked into the corridor from the side and looked at Shadow. "What's going on, how did I get here?" Shadow asked angrily, holding his head in pain.

"So, you don't remember what happened at all last night?" Kane said. Shadow shook his head, his eyes narrowed in pain. So Kane told him the story of how Shadow had ended up at the door of his ship, completely drunk agreeing to take over the world with him. However, Kane knew he was drunk and couldn't trust him so locked him up until he was sober.

"I don't know what came over me, that is why I don't drink, this happens!" Shadow said in frustration, banging his fist down on the floor beside. "I swear, this wasn't my own decision, it was _her_!" Shadow pointed upwards. "The stupid fan girl who keeps putting me into situations like this!" he complained. But he could say no more as he felt as if his bladder was literally twisting inside of him. Shadow got up and ran to the bars, looking at Kane with pleading eyes. "Please, you have to let me go to the bathroom now, it's urgent!" Shadow cried out.

"I don't want you leaving your cell, I can't trust you." Kane said mischievously, watching as Shadow was holding himself and trying hard not to dance about.

"But… it's desperate!" Shadow cried out, scrunching his eyes up tight. "It's also humiliating!" he exclaimed.

"Don't worry about your humiliation, only I can see you." Kane said.

"That's where you're wrong…" Shadow grunted. Kane looked at him confusedly. "Never mind…" Shadow sighed. "For chaos sake… this is just torture. Lucy, can't you do something? Get me out of this cell!" Shadow yelled out in distress.

"_**Shadow, I'm feeling very generous. You're free to go.**_" came the author's voice. The ship around Shadow disappeared and he was now just standing in the meadow nearby the city he was in before. Shadow went to a nearby bush so that he could relieve himself, while he was doing so the author added, "_**For now**_."

Afterwards, Shadow went back to Dave and his friends to see if they knew anything about hangovers and how to cope with them because the one he was having was hitting him hard. They had drinking a lot of water, eating certain foods and other methods but none of them worked. So Shadow left the building to go and have fresh air instead.

As he walked through the city yet again he came across a group of GUN soldiers. This made Shadow jump into the nearby alley to hide from them. When they passed Shadow's hiding spot they even saw him but took no notice. Shadow got out from the dark space and looked at the soldiers as they were walking off into the distance. "Huh? They didn't take any notice of me. It's as though… I'm no longer wanted by them." Shadow said to himself.

Moving on Shadow saw something mysterious up ahead so he ran towards it, there was a large vessel that was stationary and looked dark and alien like. Shadow then realised that it must belong to the Black Arms. The first instinct he had was to run but curiosity got the better of him so he took a look. He found one of the entrances to get inside and what he saw was a world of red and black.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw Black Doom in front of him. Shadow gulped, he knew he'd be in for it now. "Black Doom, please have mercy." Shadow begged.

"Why would I son?" Black Doom said in a caring voice.

"Son? Why are you calling me that? Are you making fun of my for that 'I love you Daddy' thing you made me say. I was hoping we could forget about that!" Shadow said angrily.

"We _have_ forgotten about it! We put all of that behind us remember! SHADOW!" Black Doom bellowed at the end as he saw Shadow run away. "Come back here right now!" Black Doom said and sent and attack, Shadow just managed to dodge it.

Shadow turned to face Black Doom. "Fine, let's fight!" Shadow said with determination and aggression.

"_**Actually Shadow, that's not in the plan. You're not meant to fight Black Doom just yet. For now you just, well, run.**_" came Lucy's voice. Shadow looked up with annoyance.

"I'm not that much of a coward!" Shadow yelled but found himself running anyway when Black Doom sent a swift strike attack towards him, Shadow got out of the ship and to safety as fast as he could.

"Aww, this story is awful… can we do something else now. I beg of you. I'm just going everywhere, first to Kane, then to those kids then to Black Doom, where could we possibly go next without going back on ourselves!" Shadow said while walking through the city.

Suddenly, he was tackled to the floor by one of Kane's monsters and picked up. Shadow struggled to get free until he saw Kane, looking at him evilly. Unable to get out of it's grasp Shadow gave up his attempt to escape, he would just have to put up with yet another capture.

While in Kane's possession, Shadow was made to sit on a chair in Kane's lab and have blood samples taken from him, after that Kane went to ask him some questions. "So Shadow, do you know someone called Black Doom?" Kane said.

"No, never heard of him in my life." Shadow lied with his arms folded, staying quiet about what he knew.

"Funny because your DNA matches his perfectly." Kane said in disbelief. Shadow stayed strong and kept his mouth shut. "I know you're acting, you do know him and I need you to bring him to Me." he said. Still no noise from Shadow, he looked up as if he was waiting for something.

"_**Yes Shadow, you will be able to fight when you see him this time**_**.**" the voice came. Shadow nodded.

"Fine, I do know him and I will be able to bring him to you." Shadow said in defeat. Kane got out a chaos emerald from one of the cupboards in his lab.

"You can use this for power I understand that using it makes you powerful." Kane said, giving it to Shadow.

"I'm powerful with or without the emeralds." Shadow said firmly, feeling insulted.

"According my radar, the other six emeralds are in this area, altogether." Kane said, pointing at the screen. Shadow looked map on the screen and realised the area the chaos emeralds were in was the place Black Doom was, this made him go pale. "What's the matter?"

"Black Doom had them… we're doomed." Shadow said breathlessly.

"We're still going to defeat him. You can try to steal his emeralds when we invade him with my army!" Kane said and made his way to the piloting room of the huge ship, it was time make the ship fly. Shadow felt excited, this would be his first proper fight of the story. He couldn't wait to battle, if Lucy was to keep her word and let him.

Kane's ship landed outside of Doom's and the two of them went to the entrance. "Now, let's go and give Black Doom a _nice surprise_." Kane said sinisterly. Shadow sighed, he knew what he would have to say next.

"Why would we want to give Black Doom a _nice _surprise." Shadow asked, he hated the fact that he had to say such a thing, he was not that stupid, but the author had insisted on it because she thought it made him look cute to act ignorant and innocent.

"I was being sarcastic. It's going to be a horrible surprise, we're bringing him down today!" Kane said. "On the count of three, one… two-"

Shadow just walked inside of the ship anyway, not waiting for Kane to finish. Kane ran in after him, feeling annoyed that Shadow had ruined his plan to jump inside together. Shadow was standing a few meters away from the entrance, looking at Black Doom who had come, anticipating their arrival. "I'm so glad, I can finally fight. No more running away, no more cowardice, just me an you Black Doom-"

"Charge!" Kane shouted from behind, all of his creatures came changing through the door and Black Doom summoned his army also. Shadow walked off to the side of the room sighing,

When the room cleared and all of the soldiers were dead, Shadow got up from the corner of the room and stepped between Kane and Black Doom. "Shadow! I thought I'd lost but I have you! You ran out of soldiers first Black Doom so I won fair and square!" Kane said.

"No, Shadow belongs to me! Don't you Shadow?" Black Doom said, sounding proud.

"Shadow… come on, you're on my side, right?" Kane said enticingly.

"But, you're mine Shadow, you were made with my blood, not his, you're mine!" Black Doom bellowed.

Shadow sighed. "I don't know… really. I think I'm going to go with the person that I'd get the most of out of. Any rewards in mind either of you?" Shadow asked, sounding smug.

"Umm, no." Kane said sounding offended.

"Of course Shadow, you'll rule a the world with me when I take over it." Black Doom said.

"We'll I'm going with him then. Bye Kane." Shadow said, he created a chaos spear with his hand so Kane fled. Shadow then turned to Black Doom with a smug look on his face.

"So… when percentage of the world will I own when we rule the world?" Shadow asked arrogantly.

"Zero." Black Doom said. "It was all a trick, you're my prisoner now Shadow!"

"But, I've already been a prisoner… multiple times within this story. Isn't this a little, no, very overused!" Shadow complained. Black Doom summoned a few of his spare black arms soldiers to drag Shadow away to his prison cell, again, Shadow didn't bother to struggle because he knew it was just no use.

**Lucy Labrador**


	4. Chapter 4

**Why Shadow Fears Fan Girl Writer**

**Chapter 4: It Makes No Sense!**

Shadow was thrown into his cell. He attempted to run out of there but he was shot by one of the soldiers, the gun didn't hurt him though, it released a sticky thick red and black goo, which threw him against the wall, stuck him there and kept him in place with a layer of sticky mess. The cell itself was small and instead of it being an open cell with bars, the cell only had a door which kept out all light. The door was slammed and Shadow was left stuck to the wall.

After a while, Shadow's eyes got used to the dark so it wasn't so bad being in the dark. The problem was that he was stuck from the neck down in slime which was now hardening, pressing him tightly against the wall and keeping him there, not allowing him to move. "Oh no, I have an itch." Shadow groaned to himself. "This is definitely different Lucy, I'll give you that but did you have to be so cruel-" Shadow stopped and squeaked. "No… not now, please." Shadow said, feeling a tingle down below. "I should just keep my mouth shut next time." he sighed.

Some time later, Shadow heard something going on outside of the cell, clicking and fiddling noises. The door was opened; Shadow tensed up and braced himself for any bad thing Black Doom would do to him. But it wasn't Black Doom who opened the door, it was Dave and Mark. "What's going on, how can a couple of humans get into this place without getting caught? This is ridiculous." Shadow complained.

"_**Makes more sense than the cell around you disappearing, just go along with it.**_"

Shadow sighed and did as he was told. "Guys, you came for me." Shadow said, his expression lighting up. The two boys got out a couple of knifes and cut away at the goo that was keeping Shadow on the wall. "How did you find me?" Shadow asked.

"We couldn't trust you, so when you were drunk the other night we put a microchip on your fur so that we could track you. We were just making sure that you weren't blowing out cover to the police or something." Dave explained.

Shadow mouthed an exasperated 'what?' upwards then looked at the two of them thankfully. "Let's get out of here before Black Doom knows about this." Shadow said and led them out of the cell, towards the exit.

As they were getting near to the exit, Black Doom appeared, blocking their way. "Decided to call for help from your human friends, did you?" Black Doom said threateningly. Black Doom then summoned his soldiers who grabbed Dave and Mark. "Maybe I should kill your friends." Black Doom said as alien guns were pointed at their heads.

"Shadow!" they both cried out for help.

"Black Doom, you can't do this. I'll do anything for them to survive." Shadow said, he knew that he would feel guilty if the two of them died for him. "I'm begging you, don't hurt them." Shadow said, getting down on his knees desperately.

"Well, I wouldn't mind having a hedgehog slave." Black Doom said mischievously. Shadow gulped, he would have to be Black Doom's slave. Shadow agreed to it and the boys were let go of.

Shortly after, Shadow was scrubbing the floors of the ship on his hands and knees with a bucket of water and a brush. Black Doom was relaxing on a deck chair with an icy cold drink and would shout, "You missed a spot!" or "Scrub faster!" every now and then. Half an hour into it Shadow was reminded of his need and groaned.

"Black Doom, can I take a break soon. I have to do something." Shadow asked urgently.

"No breaks. You're going to scrub every floor of this ship until the whole of it is spotless!" Black Doom ordered. Shadow's ears drooped to the sides of his head.

"But… I have to pee!" Shadow exclaimed, holding himself.

"Well, there's nothing I can do about it. Can't you just hold it in or something?" Black Doom said.

"No, I can't! You don't understand!" Shadow said, holding himself.

"I suppose my guards can take you outside for a few seconds so that you can do what you need to." Black Doom said, summoning them. Two of them grabbed Shadow and took him outside. Shadow looked side to side at both of them.

"Do you even know what I have to do?" Shadow asked them. There was no answer from them, as though they couldn't understand him. "Ugh, that's it!" Shadow said, he kicked the both of them and ran freely, down to the city again, he had to get back to Dave's place, he knew there was a toilet there.

He darted down the streets until he got the door of the building. He barged in, in a hurry. It was dark and quiet in the room, Shadow was confused. "Hello?" he called. Then a small light came on the corner of the room, there was Dave surrounded by a few of his friends.

"Shadow the Hedgehog." he said sinisterly while cleaning off a knife with a cloth, he started walking towards Shadow. "Because of you, we were nearly killed. Allow us, to return the favour!" he said and swung the knife at Shadow's chest. Shadow was able to dodge it, a panicked look on his face.

"But, you got out fine though! I became his slave so that you could survive!" Shadow exclaimed, backing up against the wall. Dave tried again, this time getting Shadow in the stomach. The poor hedgehog choked out in pain and fell to his knees in agony. He breathed in heavily and painfully. "This makes no sense at all!" Shadow screamed out, tears falling from his eyes. "I helped them, and they only went to that place because they decided to… why would they blame me for this!" he cried out. Dave and his gang left the building, leaving Shadow there to suffer. "Screw you Lucy! You keep making up any old excuse to hurt me, not to mention the fact that I still have to go…" he groaned and pulled the knife out from his abdomen.

When the pain became a little bearable, Shadow pushed himself to his feet and got himself outside. He knew he would have to go back on himself yet again, it was time to go back to Kane, only he could help Shadow now.

Kane later found Shadow on the door step of his ship crying in pain, bleeding from his stomach. He brought him in sympathetically and stitched up his wound. "What happened to you?" Kane asked when Shadow had calmed down.

"Fan… fiction…" Shadow growled.

"Right…" Kane said, deciding not to ask what that was about. "So… what happened to working for Black Doom?" Kane scoffed.

"I agreed to work for him so that I could rule the world with him, but it was all a trick. He then locked me up and kept me prisoner." Shadow explained. "Thanks for helping me, I'll make your efforts worth while. I'm going to defeat Black Doom." he said with determination.

"Good luck with that. If you couldn't do it before without a wound, how are you going to do it now?" Kane asked.

"Lucy Labrador is going to let me." Shadow said through gritted teeth.

"What… who?" Kane said, sounding very confused.

"Never mind… I'm off." Shadow said, getting up again and leaving the ship to go and defeat Doom, not forgetting to use the toilet on his way out.

Shadow walked through the entrance of Black Doom's ship. "So, decided to come crawling back…" Black Doom hissed.

"Yes. And I _will_ defeat you this time, if not I'm going to at least try it. I'm tired of going back and fourth all of the time. I with this story would just go somewhere for once!" Shadow yelled out in anger.

"Do you honestly think you can-"

"Skip the speech, let's get on with this!" Shadow growled, feeling his lust and craving for violence get the better of him. Shadow leapt up, making a chaos spear and aiming it for Black Doom's head. Doom disappeared, using chaos control to doge the attack that Shadow threw. This time Shadow hoped that using just one chaos spear would defeat him like it did the last time. He tried the same attack again.

"Wait hedgehog, stop!" Black Doom yelled. Shadow stopped in mid air. "I've just remembered something…I can't kill you now… not can you kill me now. Much is to become of you!"

"What is going on!" Shadow yelled, still in mid air.

"You see, you're yet to do more things. I didn't realise that this was not you from this time but you from the past, you're yet to-"

"NO! How am I in midair!" Shadow yelled. "Get me down!" Shadow them plummeted to the floor. "I don't care what you have to say… we're either fighting or we're not… what ever you're saying there is doesn't make sense."

"I should have known this earlier that-"

"No, it's not that you should have known it earlier but it is that there was a huge error on the authors part and she thought that he would cover it up by making you say it was your mistake-" Shadow stopped and help himself between his legs. "Oh chaos…" groaned.

"Whatever you say hedgehog, we'll meet again." Black Doom said and slowly faded away. Shadow was tempted to run out of the ship to find somewhere to relieve himself but he knew that the rest of the emeralds were in there somewhere. He went far in to look for them and once he did find them, did chaos control to take him to Kane's ship.

Kane was sitting in one of his labs again, fiddling with chemicals, he saw Shadow run past the room at the corner of his eye. "Oh, hello Shadow." he said, not taking his eyes of his work.

"Can't talk now… too desperate!" Shadow called out, continuing to run to the bathroom.

Once Shadow was done he walked into the lab to talk to Kane. "Kane… what do you know about the 21st century." Shadow asked.

"Well, I know that it's the time at which the real Robotnik struggle for power began with my ancestor, Ivo Robotnik who I heard was killed by a hedgehog with great speed."

"Sonic…" Shadow said in awe.

"No, his name was Rush." Kane said. "At least that's what the tales say. And since then his Ivo's children, grand children and further ancestors have been trying to take over the world."

"Are you still trying to do that?" Shadow asked. Kane nodded with determination. "I can't let you do that!" Shadow yelled and grabbed Kane by the arm.

With his free hand, Kane pressed the button on his portable control panel to call in one of his creations. It then pulled Shadow off of Kane and put him back into his prison cell. "Not again!" Shadow said in frustration, banging his fist on the wall. After a while, Shadow decided to try his chances with Lucy again, hoping she would save him. "Hey… mind doing that fancy fade away trick again?" Shadow asked, looking up.

"_**If you wish…**_" came her voice.

Then, the ship around Shadow started to disappear which left nothing but thin air around him because the ship he was now in was in the air. Shadow cried out as he fell from the air. He looked below him to see the ocean, big, blue with no land for miles. "Please no! Why would you do this?" Shadow howled out as he plummeted towards the ocean.

His body struck the water with a huge splash and he darted miles under the water because of the velocity he was falling at. 'I'm done for. If I couldn't breathe in space, then I can't breathe under the water and I'm miles under the surface.' Shadow thought to himself.

So, with no other option, despite how tired he was and how lately he had used this trick before, he did chaos control to bring him to the shore. He fell unconscious on the warm, dry sand. "Not… again…" he groaned as he passed out.

**Lucy Labrador**


	5. Chapter 5

**Why Shadow Fears Fan Girl Writers**

**Chapter 5: An Abrupt End**

Shadow felt himself waking up, but he didn't feel as though he was in the same place as before, he was no longer at the beach, he heard a familiar voice saying; "Shadow… are you awake now? I'm sorry I hurt you… I don't know what came over me."

Shadow's eyes shot open and Dave was standing there in front of him. "You really mean that?" Shadow asked feeling confused. Dave nodded. "I know what came over you, but I'm not going into detail about it." Shadow said, and got up from the floor where they had put him. Shadow was now back in their little hideout.

He went to sit down on one of the chairs, the rest of them were silent. "I'm fine now I, got my wound stitched up so it doesn't hurt as much any more." Shadow added. "I could do with a drink though, to help get rid of the rest of the pain."

"What about last time? It had a bad effect on you last time." Dave said, passing him a bottle of alcoholic drink.

"I don't care, I'm not going to get myself overly drunk, just enough to numb myself, I just… need-"

The rest of that night was a blur.

He once again woke up in a prison cell in Kane's ship. "Dammit!" Shadow screamed out. "How could this happen a second time!" Shadow cried, Kane walked into view.

"I suggest that you stay away from the drink Shadow." Kane said, teasingly.

"Shhh, stop talking so loudly… my head." Shadow groaned.

"I hardly raised my voice, good luck with the hangover." Kane said sarcastically.

"I hate you…" Shadow growled while holding his head in pain.

"At least you're honest." Kane said, sounding offended.

"I wasn't talking to you… I was talking to… _her_." Shadow grumbled. "Why won't this just end. I wanna go home, back to modern day, back to the 21st century where I don't become a prisoner of several people in every chapter!" Shadow cried out.

"I think you're still a little drunk." Kane said.

"Oh Lucy… please, just, help me get rid of this guy and send me back to the 21st century!" he begged.

"_**Umm, Shadow, you have all seven chaos emeralds, remember?**_" The author said.

"Of course. I'll use them to defeat this guy." Shadow said in realisation. So despite the pain he was in, he turned into his super form so that he was unstoppable. "Despite how much you've helped me, I'm brining you down. No one harms this planet." Shadow said.

"A funny thing to come from you." Kane scoffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shadow said confusedly.

"Oh, you'll see Shadow, one day." Kane said.

"What do people mean when I say things like that!" Shadow said sounding angry.

"Oh, so you haven't heard? The only thing I will tell you is this. In the 21st century, a creature took over this planet, it gave the planet up to the humans afterwards. After that it came back and destroyed half of the population."

"What!" Shadow said, feeling awful, he couldn't believe he wasn't there to stop it. "I wish I would have been there, I've failed everyone." he said shamefully. He then looked at Kane in pure hatred, "You're going down." he hissed, grabbed Kane and then brought him to GUN HQ with Chaos control.

Shadow decided not to stay, otherwise he would have been recognised and GUN would get him, and knowing his luck, he would definitely be their prisoner.

He was confused about the things both Black Doom and Kane had said, so he decided to go and get some answers. He went to explore Black Doom's ship just one last time. Perhaps he would find answers there, Doom would definitely know about the creature that took over the planet. When he got into the large vessel that belonged to Black Doom, Shadow found a shining portal, he did not hesitate to go into it.

He was transported to another red and black place belonging to the Black Arms. On one of the walls her saw a message that had been carved into the wall and looked to have been eroded away.

**Shadow The Hedgehog Was Here 2009**

**Beware of the-**

It ended there. After the last word there was a long scratch that led to the floor, as though the message had been cut off. "I never wrote that, what's more, this was written after my death back then. This is getting pretty mysterious, Lucy, this story may not be such nonsense after all." Shadow said and went to see what this place was a whether he could find Black Doom.

He found him in one of the buildings, looking over his empire. "Umm, Black Doom, what is this place?" Shadow asked.

"This is my planet." Black Doom announced.

"But… you… don't have a planet." Shadow said. Black Doom was silent. "How…" Shadow groaned, looking up again.

"Shadow… I believe that you have somewhere to go." Black Doom said, changing the subject. "I'll send you on your way." he added, waving his arms over Shadow, creating a blinding light that sent Shadow away with Chaos Control.

Shadow then found himself in a human city which looked as though it was in the 21st century. "Oh great, I'm back in this un-convincing city in the future!" Shadow said and folded his arms in a mood. But something was different about this place, the buildings looked new and there were many people in this place, unlike the other city where it was deserted.

Shadow went to find somewhere he could find out some information, then he would know where he was. He soon found a newspaper stand, and on newspapers, were dates. Shadow ran to look at it. It was the year 2002, he was back to the 21st century again! "This is just crazy… I'm glad this is all over and I can just go back to my normal life all over again." Shadow sighed with relief.

"_**Oh no Shadow, this is only just the begin**_-"

"No! I refuse to do anything else! You're not the boss of me!" Shadow yelled out at the top of his voice. This made everyone in the street look around in shock, they hadn't hear the authors voice so it to them it sounded as if Shadow had just shouted out for nothing.

Shadow saw his onlookers and smiled at them nervously. He then performed chaos control so that he could get out of the awkward situation.

He was once again in Space Colony ARK. "I know you had a lot planned for me Lucy but it just isn't worth it. This story line and you humour is just redundant… let it go." Shadow said. "And let me get on with my life." he added in a darker tone.

"_**Fine, and you're right… this is just a seemingly good idea gone wrong. I give up.**_" she said and that was the last Shadow heard of her.

**So yeah, this story isn't funny, it's becoming just as tedious as the original so I'm calling quits on it. If I had more feedback, I.e. if people came back to review after the first chapter, then I would have gotten the impression that the readers were enjoying it. So, I don't think this is worth the effort and that it's time to just leave 'Why Do I Suffer So Much?' well alone for good. **

**Lucy Labrador**


End file.
